I read everything you read and I didn’t have the words you did. I must’ve went too fast.

It’s darker on this road than the others, but there are still streetlights. Not like home. Not like when we rode down your road how fast we didn’t know because the gages were never lit either. Downhill into…well I don’t know what into. Didn’t know then don’t know now but soon enough we’d be at your house and I had to let you go.

They told me you were still alive about a week ago, but I didn’t believe them then. It was Fitz and Hugo that told me that but I didn’t believe them because well it doesn’t matter I just didn’t.

You would have liked this car. Or you will if you see it. Those long, too long white lines in the middle of this highway. I’m not going fast now.

I’m coming for you, coming to find you where you don’t want to be found but no one knows what they really want until they can have it or maybe even until after they get it. Don’t know what you’ll think but I’m sure you’ll say something amazing. Something I wanted to have said.

Doesn’t matter anyway, what you say. Because well, I guess I’m mad about the whole thing. How you left and pretended to be dead. I understand in a way, to be honest I want that, what you did. I would do it, but, well the thing is I won’t do it because I actually love the people that I love. Not all of them but enough.

Deer in the middle of the road every two miles. The lights flash in their eyes and it scares me every time. I almost hit one, I slow down. I wait for the next one. Doesn’t come. I forget. Think about you. Jesus there’s another. Wouldn’t be the end of the world in this car. It’s built to last. Why would anyone…do a thing like that? Guess there’d be a dent if the deer were really big.

The air is nice, you’d say so if you felt it. If you remember anything about the old summers. All I remember are the old summers. The new ones go away before they start and you never smell air like this. I must be getting close now.


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