life, photography

Lost Into Darkness

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I was up early this morning, or maybe I never made it to bed – either way, I wrote a ‘thing’ for the first time in a month. It looked good, read well. It had a start, a middle and an end – you, know, all that jazz. I was ecstatic at the output. Maybe I will let you read it one day.

I left the house for work, walking a familiar path to the Underground. I was thinking of what I had written, smiling at how clever I had been with my twisting sentences, the slick characterisation, the clever call-back at the climax that referenced the beginning. In my mind I began to edit, adding fresh pieces – to refine the start, to plump the middle, to polish the end.

Then the happiness faded. I started to see the gaps, the cracks, the fractures; the long-winded wordiness, ridiculous choices of my protagonist, the clichéd fait accompli of the antagonist. The weaknesses within my prose emboldened ink-black against the pure-white canvass.

In an instant this familiar path, along which I had been skipping, came to the downhill slope section where you will find the ruts and bumps. I stumbled and fell heavy to my knees, pitching forward onto my hands and left skin from my palms and knuckles upon the bitumen. That is when it came loose and tumbled away from me towards the storm drain. I watched it slip between the thick metal fingers – confidence in my words lost into darkness, and it was gone

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11 thoughts on “Lost Into Darkness

  1. It happens to me with my images too. Sometimes I can’t tell if I like a piece or not. Often my favourite pieces are not popular. Also periods of feeling uninspired – those I know (I think) will pass since they have before.
    All very uncomfortable.
    You need a metal coat hanger to use as a hook to fish that confidence back up through that grate. x o x

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve spent the last week editing a shit load of photos I’ve never gotten around to finalising. Every time I open up the edit, I change it once more. I’m sure I’ll never be happy. So I’m throwing them all out there on my own blog – see what sticks.

      Like

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