life, poetry, prosetry

In delirium, in neglect

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“I don’t want to hear a bloody THING about you, you’re a waste of silence, say nothing, speak no more”

“Not even to explain why?”

“Who cares why? What is the truth behind any why? It’s just a deck of cards, spilling into bath water after all, plug-in the radiator and throw it in, BANG BANG now we have something to talk about, electrocution, far more illuminating than fucking human problems … ”

“I want to tell you why I hate myself so much.”

“I don’t give a DAMN why you hate yourself. I’m GLAD you hate yourself.”

“Why are you so hateful?”

Hate, Hate, Hate. Because I’d rather drink lemonade. Because the world runs on it darling didn’t you know? Piss & vinegar inherited the earth.”

“I did know.”

“Then? Why the hell are you surprised?”

“I thought if you really tried you could communicate with someone, make them care. Make them understand. Get connected.”

“Who the fuck wants to understand someone else? We only want to understand when it’s too late, like after a massacre and probably not even then …”

“I want you to understand me.”

“I don’t care to understand you. I like sleeping with you. That’s all it is. The rest is filler. White noise.”

“Okay …”

Three nights pass uneventfully.

On the fourth.

She lit her fuse and shot right up into the sky, upon reaching the zenith she split apart, creating her own science.

All the words she couldn’t say, bottled up and labeled in her licorice heart, sticking together in delirium, in neglect, become infinity and star-dust.

Millions or billions of years pass …

One day after all that smoke they sit opposite on a scarred table with wonky legs.

“Do you want to know me?”

“Oh I want to know everything there is about you, even how it feels to be you.”

“Why?”

“Because you matter to me. Because I care.”

“Do you know why that is?”

“It’s just how I feel.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No it’s not just how you feel.”

“What then?”

“It’s because you are made of star-light and star-dust.”

“Well … sure … we all are.”

“Yes. Yes we are.”

 

(Image: http://www.tumblr_mv8equ1m1o1rmig2po1_500)

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15 thoughts on “In delirium, in neglect

  1. mylifandme says:

    Let the volcano burst from your heart- like spewing fire into the air- way above the noise of stupidity. Scream out with passion the hidden debris left behind that needs sweeping away for eternity…..I feel like I want to smash down walls with my bare hands- and claw the dirt with my mind…… I read you loud and clear. x0

    Liked by 1 person

  2. No matter how much we hate each other or ignore each other. Whatever the case may bring…the truth will back fire on us all. It’s not going to happen now or 5 years maybe till humans have realized it further than they know themselves.

    Fury of emotions and brilliant.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. tomvandessel says:

    Beautifully written. I especially liked this part: “Who the fuck wants to understand someone else? We only want to understand when it’s too late, like after a massacre and probably not even then …”, rang very true in my ears.

    Liked by 2 people

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