Though only 29 she had the eyes of someone who had been
staring at walls too long on her knees
her pupils, dark as they were
glazed over with loss of expectation no longer reflected
I wore the skins of effort, and the boots of climb, in my hands I carried keys
how can you have given up already? My inner query voiced
you can learn very soon and very young that there is nothing. Her dark eyes reflected in response
I wanted to gather her up and save her
I was after all, the one who tried to save people, it was the only thing I knew to do
and I couldn’t even save myself
the pockets of my dress, opened outward and everything I claimed
fell behind me like voices caught in a well
I knew they would accuse me of exploitation, “You only saved her because she was beautiful, you’re an old pervert, there’s always an agenda with your choices”
could they be right? Who will defend the mockery of the mute
did part of me hope upon saving her, she would turn to me and?
peel her orange skin like a locust and reveal her lacquered center?
I didn’t dare think on it. I wasn’t as they thought, an old pervert, glut on the lust of youth, sipping through a straw, the firm skin of minors
I’d never had expectations, what did they look like? Ink marks on paper, a map, a set of rules, runes, signifiers, the last message left in Roanoke
where did they go? Those four and twenty souls?
If I had been her age I might have put on Dreamweaver and lying on Indian pillows, we’d sip our Mathilde and smoke ourselves licorice into sleep
If I had been her age I might have reached over drowsy and foolish and lain my hand on her mango hip bone, jagged as it was, rising from her clothes
and if this was a fantasy, she may have turned to me, her heavy-lidded eyes, perfumed with fruiting intensity and let me inside
where ribbons of everything she’d seen in 29 years, hung like unworn dresses acting as flags on empty ships
and if I were walking her long strip of velvet behind me gathered twice about her neck like a looping string of pearls dipped in midnight, what song should I have sung?
she who lay beneath me purring herself into pleasures chasm, stretching herself about me like an elastic band with limitless rebound
then in that moment, our fingers, clenching and unwinding, pouring deep and still like frozen water catches its breath before tumbling forward
her voice in my ear, hot and fast, all the things never disclosed
it wouldn’t matter then what others thought
they on their high horses unable to stoop and reach in, the breast of earth and plant their hearts
the flicker in and out of light and day
her back like well oiled marble come alive, arching and soldering
her hair, matted and sticky, flung beyond the sheets, causing forests to make way, for her cry, an unseen bird among the trees, low throated and unceasing, releasing alabaster sorrow and pent-up cellos of crime
she would no longer stare at walls unseeing
she would learn in her youth, the rush of spring and renewal vibrating against her could feel
good and real, a returning silhouette, ushering memory to fresher climb
and I, who fixed people could
lie next to her smile, feeling in the air
a cage emptying
my own and hers
found in azure lake
dreaming of escape
kneeling until ground seized by
termagant gave way to infinite space
filled with starlight
Reblogged this on TheFeatheredSleep.
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“she would no longer stare at walls unseeing
she would learn in her youth, the rush of spring and renewal vibrating against her could feel good and real,….”
Arrrgh.. If only we could save them ALL..
Loved this Candice.. every last line.. xxx 💚
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Thank you! I so agree. I so agree! Thank you dearest Sue for seeing what I was saying in this, you always do, you are a dreamwalker for sure. xo
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Thank you Candice.. Only wish I had some Magic formula to go with the title.. And wave a magic feather that all suffering could end. ❤ xxx
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Beautiful. As always. Love the song pick as well. 😊
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It is a great ole classic! Thank you!
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You’re very welcome. 😊
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So long as you’d done everything within your own moral responsibilities (helping people as best as you can!), then it shouldn’t matter what others may say or think of you, because you KINOW, that you did, everything you could…
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Thank you i agree♡
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