I don’t want to lie to you but I sure wish I could start lying to myself. Tell a different story of me, one that sits less altered in her chair, skewed by the forks laid to eat in tarmac
Truth doesn’t sit well at 2am, when the specter and the sickle crescent with the moon, to chime their heady blend of ‘what if’s’ and disturbance cavorting against imagination
I think of the quiet Christmas eve house, Tom and Jerry fooling about, seems I’ve been living long, if memory can stretch the length of night, without curling back upon itself
you’re there of course, shy and bold and beautiful
and out of the corner of my eye, I see the young me, her nylon night-dress and untrimmed straggly hair
Penguin looks with his sad eyes, Teddy tries not to cry, as knots in the wardrobe come alive, menacing faces, terror in familiar places
he said, sit on my lap child, this won’t take long and after midnight, Cinderella was never the same, she preferred cinders and dark corners
just as you, pulled me out, toward gathering morning and soon light will decide fear and tomorrow will appear slow and steady like a hand on your brow, wiping away the wait
there, there, child, sleep it off, dream the future, where you have inherited the surge and the dragon and you avenge your unseen foe
inch by inch, we reclaim in years, snatched from time, half over us, like sword of Damocles, poised to swallow whole
yes we have much to dread, feel the hook of fear and do it anyway, bury that part saying oh God, no, I can’t as the kids who jump, reaching for rope and burn
to vault into space, grabbing rubber tyre, absailing in space and time, lifted from their feet, by the impossible feat, oh God you can leap
keep on, just keep, on
facing the fear
Reblogged this on TheFeatheredSleep and commented:
https://hijackedamygdala.com
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This is tremendous. I love these images, of night, the moon, leaping in the dark, all so dark and yet there’s hope there too.
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I am working on a tshirt with ‘jane says tremendous’ as I feel every Monday should have such a t-shirt don’t you? (thank you so much my forest girl)
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I love it when your poems mean something to me. They don’t always, and I feel left out, if you know what I mean. But poems like this are universal 🙂
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Totally understand and agree (it’s belting down here, longest rain of the year, i think I can hear things crying out in joy)
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Rain is lovely really. We seldom appreciate it 🙂
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Beautiful. Simply beautiful.
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Thank you so much Cristian xo
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This is fucking brilliant! Well of course it is, because YOU ARE! ❤
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I nearly fell off my chair! I love this! Thank you thank you thank you! So much! Yes you made me have a HUGE grin – a massive one!
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Well, then mission accomplished for me!!!! The thought of you smiling makes me smile too. ❤
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I’d like to say “Wow” with a hundred explanation points but that’s not good enough. A remarkable poem once again, Candice. It is indeed YOUR poetry that inspires ME. Your poetry is honest, descriptive, silver sharp and powerful!
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If ever my poetry inspires YOU then I’m on the right path, this I know. I can’t say more. You know I mean that.
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🌸💕
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Extraordinary 🙂
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Thank you so much
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You know, as much as I have read your work in the last few months, I always feel so freshly astonished whenever I read it. It’s just on another level.
Amazing piece. The poignancy is something I can truly taste right now.
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That’s one of the loveliest things anyone has ever said to me, how do I deserve that especially coming from you my friend. I can only say, thank you. I don’t write nearly as much as I used to, so it’s ratifying and encouraging. But you are that – so encouraging and one of those spirits you want to keep as a night light, you radiate goodness and I for one feel gladdened there are souls like you in this world still
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Really?
Oh my gosh, you certainly deserve it! You honour me with your words, Candice. And they are some of the loveliest words I have ever received! Thank you, I will never forget that sentiment.
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Terrifying, actually
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I agree. And those who say they are never scared, they’re probably the most
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This is great post…thank you
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Thank you Ben for reading and commenting
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The opening phrase already gets you hooked. At least it did me, because it speaks so clearly to me. Lying to myself. I did this for too many years. Now I struggle to prevent it, make sure I don’t go back there. Writing helps me with htat, keeps me on my toes.
Reading does too. And your poetry… it’s like a punch in the stomach, telling me “Look up girl. I know you ache, but… you have to keep going!”
Thank you.
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Dear Dawn. I always thought if you were intelligent you could not lie to yourself but you can, even if you see the truth in others, you can blatently not see it in yourself, I have been there, I may be there again, it’s one of those self-deceptions that does our head in! But sometimes we see and then we can do what needs to stop being a blockhead. It is hard, a struggle as you say, but well worth it, though a harder road, most like to stick their heads in the sand, I cannot blame them though I want to keep on my toes just as you. Thank you dear one xo
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I’m wiritng about lying to myself as I read you… Thank YOU XO
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