Driving from the grand canyon into Vegas feels as I’d imagine a flea feels hopping from one side of a warzone to another.
We drive in at night. A sea of lights, a fire that refuses to die–or even flicker.
“Holy shit,” I say.
“Holy shit,” my brother agrees.
Our mother is in the back. “It’s the tackiest place on earth,” she tells us.
We get closer, a giant pink lighted sign advertises collision insurance. “Tacky, tack, tacky,” my mother says, in awe.
“It’s like the birth place of tacky,” I admire, as we head straight for a beam of light shooting into the sky.
My brother, trying desperately to concentrate on the road, can’t help but add, “the festering wound of tacky.”
We laugh, agreeing that ‘festering wound of tacky’ is the greatest height our joke will attain. “Where are we staying, again?” I ask.
“The giant glass pyramid,” our mother says.
My brother and I frown. “The what?”
“The giant glass pyramid.”
I don’t know exactly what we expected, but it turns out to be exactly that; a giant glass pyramid.
“Why?” I ask, staring up at the top where the beam of light is shooting into the sky.
My brother shrugs. “I think Las Vegas is the ultimate answer to the ultimate question.”
“And what’s that?”
We make for the long entry-way into the pyramid.
“You realize if I were an alien, I would think this was the capitol of Earth.”
My brother nods. “Maybe this place was made by aliens and that is the capitol of Earth according to the rest of the universe.”
I can’t help but feel like that makes more sense than any other explanation I can come up with. So, I agree. Inside is motion–pure motion. People move, lights move, the air moves. It is 2 a.m. We carry our bags through a crowd of open containers, lit cigarettes, and bachelorettes. Our mother calls it “The Floor.”
It is endless, yet, it ends. The elevator goes up at a slant. A woman in a sequined blue dress stumbles into an elderly Hispanic woman holding a sleeping child.
“This is some wonky shit,” the sequined woman blurts out.
“I wonder what’s going on at the bottom of the Grand Canyon right now,” I whisper to my brother.
He looks around and shrugs, “probably the same.”
We laugh. Neither the elderly Hispanic woman or sequined dame seem terribly impressed.
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