Where do depressed people go
When the entire world suddenly feels as they do?
Back to their room, where one voice says – take them up on their offer
make a phone call
but the other voice knows they will not because
when you feel that down the last thing you can do is talk.
Where do depressed people go
when the entire world suddenly feels as they do?
Outside to empty streets / not reminded of what they fail to achieve
the silence, a balm on fevered emotion
for everyone judges what they cannot see
as others watch Pandemic movies behind closed curtains
the sad roam in search of meaning.
Where do depressed people go
when the entire world suddenly feels as they do?
they’re told it’s a disease as much as a broken arm yet
judgement is always a cudgel just one step away
even lovers rebuke and ask; Why can’t you get out of your head?
Do something helpful for a change, instead of navel gazing?
or worse, say nothing, ignore, over it, worn out
few can handle a season with dysmorphia.
Where do depressed people go
when the entire world suddenly feels they do?
For a quarantined period, it can even feel like fun
nothing of the permanency, nothing of that locked in sensation
pervading senses, shutting down, until all the dreams you had
are dust and ash on floor, you can’t even get out of bed, to brush your hair
or walk the dog, this inertia isn’t laziness, it’s a switching off
of life’s impulse and so the bulb dims eternal.
Where do depressed people go
When the entire world suddenly feels as they do?
This is how it feels every day, you struggle to find a reason, to steady yourself
into faking it, and surely, the falsehood runs its course and you’re back
with naught and nothing comes from nothing we’ve been all taught
self loathing reflects back in the unwashed mirror, a hateful creature
your worst enemy is between your ears, you hear only
the rebuke and chastising of that part of you wishing to be free
break out, break out, crawl, stagger, run get away
from yourself you cannot.
Where do depressed people go
When the entire world suddenly feels as they do?
trapped in a brain that doesn’t sit up and beg when ordered
motivation a distant memory, as much as you want there are
no magic pills or electric impulses powerful enough
to restart what has lain dormant and half alive
we are quarantined by our own demons they
made prisoners of us long before Covid 19
even those who love us, wish we were different
self hate is a woman without rocks in her pocket
yet
she walks to the edge many times each day
her reflection cries even as she no longer does
for tears are wasted after a certain time
fixed in place by broken ways forward
she seeks to drown the madness with one jump
and they sit on their sofas talking about how it will be called
the great epidemic, where we all stayed in place
not realizing for some of us this is
our hell already created and nothing new
we have been here before, we shall again
it is the wordless, grieving place of those
locked down by their minds in situ
watching the world build around them
statues in the dark
to a pandemic long pre-existing
where screams are never heard.
I think that the pain of depression does bring a sense of perspective that the world seems to have lost, particularly at the moment. I hope I’m reading you correctly here.
LikeLike
Ah what a wonderful perspective. I would agree. Though I think I would swap that perspective for no depression any day! But I am lucky that it’s not all the time and it doesn’t stop me living my life as it does so many. I try to help others and I try to do the best I can. You absolutely do understand. I used the metaphor of depression to express what is going on right now. Thank you so much for reading and your insightful considerations.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Perversely I feel that depression can be a force that drives us on. Perhaps our most insightful work comes when the dog is at the door. Personally I feel lucky that, as long as I keep one eye looking inward, and can recognise when he begins to stir, I can keep some sort of check on things. I could not explain what process takes place within me, but whatever mechanism I have developed, I hope that it will stay with me.
Take care.
LikeLike
NO it’s not perverse my friend not at all. I agree with you. Think of how many writers have some degree of depression and yet are phenomenal writers? I would say it can DRIVE the creative spirit. I know not how as I also know it can shut it down, but it has the electric urge maybe to express and perhaps that’s all it takes? Either way it works. I also agree with you about the insightful aspect, have you read that book about the black dog at the door? I should send you that book it’s so good. Yes you are so right about one eye inward means we are always considering things. I believe it will stay with you my friend. I know it will. You are too much a life force to suddenly turn grey. Sending you much love.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am do glad that you underdtood what I meant in my comment. And yes, it certainly provides creative drive. Thank you.
LikeLike
The fear that stalks the land is but a monstrous demon tourist, it has come and will go, an interloper, an unwelcome guest, and no match for the resident demons that some have as roommates or landlords.
LikeLike
Ah so very true! Landlords! Ha! That’s funny and apropros sometimes
LikeLiked by 1 person
They do seem the own the space sometimes, and the rent is exorbitant.
LikeLike
HA! I love that! You realize that’s another album title right there! I think you need to hire yourself out to write album cover titles! We need a time machine to go back to the great LP days!
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL! It might be that the titles of those days were a bad influence. ❤
LikeLike
Reblogged this on cabbagesandkings524 and commented:
TheFeatheredSleep – The malady in residence
LikeLike
What a great title that would actually make … the malady in residence. I love that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂 🙂
LikeLike
This is incredible!
LikeLike
You think? I tried 🙂 (thank you!)
LikeLiked by 1 person
YOU are incredible for taking the time to read my work I so appreciate it and you. I know sometimes they are long. But I try 🙂 And your support means everything to me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wish I could find every depressed person in the world and throw my arms around them and let them know they are not alone. ❤ this is powerful, My Sister. ❤
LikeLike
That is so beautiful and I think in your way you do just that and you touch a LOT of people with your compassion and your love. I know you do me. I see you as family and I love you dearly and I see what you do for others. I am holding you in the light also Warrior.
LikeLike
Thank you, My Warrioress. And thank you for saying so. ❤
LikeLike