life, poetry, prosetry, Uncategorized

Statues in the dark

the scream

Where do depressed people go

When the entire world suddenly feels as they do?

Back to their room, where one voice says – take them up on their offer

make a phone call

but the other voice knows they will not because

when you feel that down the last thing you can do is talk.

Where do depressed people go

when the entire world suddenly feels as they do?

Outside to empty streets / not reminded of what they fail to achieve

the silence, a balm on fevered emotion

for everyone judges what they cannot see

as others watch Pandemic movies behind closed curtains

the sad roam in search of meaning.

Where do depressed people go

when the entire world suddenly feels as they do?

they’re told it’s a disease as much as a broken arm yet

judgement is always a cudgel just one step away

even lovers rebuke and ask; Why can’t you get out of your head?

Do something helpful for a change, instead of navel gazing?

or worse, say nothing, ignore, over it, worn out

few can handle a season with dysmorphia.

Where do depressed people go

when the entire world suddenly feels they do?

For a quarantined period, it can even feel like fun

nothing of the permanency, nothing of that locked in sensation

pervading senses, shutting down, until all the dreams you had

are dust and ash on floor, you can’t even get out of bed, to brush your hair

or walk the dog, this inertia isn’t laziness, it’s a switching off

of life’s impulse and so the bulb dims eternal.

Where do depressed people go

When the entire world suddenly feels as they do?

This is how it feels every day, you struggle to find a reason, to steady yourself

into faking it, and surely, the falsehood runs its course and you’re back

with naught and nothing comes from nothing we’ve been all taught

self loathing reflects back in the unwashed mirror, a hateful creature

your worst enemy is between your ears, you hear only

the rebuke and chastising of that part of you wishing to be free

break out, break out, crawl, stagger, run get away

from yourself you cannot.

Where do depressed people go

When the entire world suddenly feels as they do?

trapped in a brain that doesn’t sit up and beg when ordered

motivation a distant memory, as much as you want there are

no magic pills or electric impulses powerful enough

to restart what has lain dormant and half alive

we are quarantined by our own demons they

made prisoners of us long before Covid 19

even those who love us, wish we were different

self hate is a woman without rocks in her pocket

yet

she walks to the edge many times each day

her reflection cries even as she no longer does

for tears are wasted after a certain time

fixed in place by broken ways forward

she seeks to drown the madness with one jump

and they sit on their sofas talking about how it will be called

the great epidemic, where we all stayed in place

not realizing for some of us this is

our hell already created and nothing new

we have been here before, we shall again

it is the wordless, grieving place of those

locked down by their minds in situ

watching the world build around them

statues in the dark

to a pandemic long pre-existing

where screams are never heard.

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19 thoughts on “Statues in the dark

    • Ah what a wonderful perspective. I would agree. Though I think I would swap that perspective for no depression any day! But I am lucky that it’s not all the time and it doesn’t stop me living my life as it does so many. I try to help others and I try to do the best I can. You absolutely do understand. I used the metaphor of depression to express what is going on right now. Thank you so much for reading and your insightful considerations.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Perversely I feel that depression can be a force that drives us on. Perhaps our most insightful work comes when the dog is at the door. Personally I feel lucky that, as long as I keep one eye looking inward, and can recognise when he begins to stir, I can keep some sort of check on things. I could not explain what process takes place within me, but whatever mechanism I have developed, I hope that it will stay with me.
        Take care.

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      • NO it’s not perverse my friend not at all. I agree with you. Think of how many writers have some degree of depression and yet are phenomenal writers? I would say it can DRIVE the creative spirit. I know not how as I also know it can shut it down, but it has the electric urge maybe to express and perhaps that’s all it takes? Either way it works. I also agree with you about the insightful aspect, have you read that book about the black dog at the door? I should send you that book it’s so good. Yes you are so right about one eye inward means we are always considering things. I believe it will stay with you my friend. I know it will. You are too much a life force to suddenly turn grey. Sending you much love.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. The fear that stalks the land is but a monstrous demon tourist, it has come and will go, an interloper, an unwelcome guest, and no match for the resident demons that some have as roommates or landlords.

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  2. I wish I could find every depressed person in the world and throw my arms around them and let them know they are not alone. ❤ this is powerful, My Sister. ❤

    Like

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