I don’t know if Daria Argento is guilty of sleeping with an underage boy
whether it was against his will, statutory rape
or both
but I know it is sad when a #metoo movement spokesperson lets everyone down
though is it the way of fallen heroes in this country, to redeem themselves
there is a hypocracy to thinking
if a man has sex
it can’t be against his will
I know that’s not true
my first boyfriend told me
a girl who sat on a window ledge
made him in her bed
and he felt fallow and diseased
as she at 22 and he 14, rode together
not long afterward
he turned Goth and slit his wrists
the bitchy girls at school taunted him
with cat-calls of ‘you cut the wrong direction fuck head’
and I dated him out of empathy or sympathy
or some kind of thy
because I couldn’t imagine wanting to die and being derided for my failure to succeed
I could feel the welt of scar tissue on his boy wrists
also I know
there is something safe
about virgin men
I liked the comfort of
being the first and not a bed notch
it occurred to me later
I may not have been searching for virgins
but a different gender altogether
though at the time it was a divided world
of normal and dykes, fags and queers
I did not fit into any category
so I played with boys who were untouched and so damn grateful
that’s where I learned what I like
is to be needed
even if the need
is fleeting and superficial
that was better than being
a girl shoved aside for the next
there is something grateful and tender
about boys who lose their virginity
and become men in your arms
I liked how they didn’t carry disease or pre conceptions
I liked how I knew I wouldn’t be their last
free to lend them the tenderness of one night
before pretending with day
nothing had transpired
we seek to be whole and inviolate
we want love and feel alienated
by the emptiness of our role
when love is unsafe we turn
to a time before where
young boys do not scold
(La Fin de Chéri)