poetry

7 Things I Learnt At Uni

  1. Jumping to your death is better than getting eating by your mother
    Re: hamsters
  2. You can obtain a degree in English having studied only 4 hours of Shakespeare over the course of your entire life
  3. Her Majesty The Queen is reet petite
  4. There are kids in the world who are so rich that they don’t do laundry:
    they wear a pair of socks once then throw them in the bin and buy more
  5. You shouldn’t pour boiling water on coffee – it burns it – 85 degrees is optimal
  6. Don’t make somebody your everything because. when they’re gone,
    you are left with nothing
  7. All food looks better when served on a square plate
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